第五章（第7/10页）

在康妮看来，此法则似乎万试万灵。特弗沙尔的矿工们又在筹划罢工，对康妮而言，这并非示威的方式，而是深埋多时的战争创伤慢慢浮出水面，带来动荡的剧痛，以及不满现状的麻木。那创伤实在太过深重……因虚伪而野蛮的战争造成。需要多年的时光，几代人鲜血的浇注，才能消解他们身心深处淤结的巨大黑色血块。而且这需要新希望的诞生。

Poor Connie! As the years drew on it was the fear of nothingness In her life that affected her. Clifford's mental life and hers gradually began to feel like nothingness. Their marriage, their integrated life based on a habit of intimacy, that he talked about: there were days when it all became utterly blank and nothing. It was words, just so many words. The only reality was nothingness, and over it a hypocrisy of words.

可怜的康妮！时光荏苒，对空虚生活的恐惧始终困扰着她。她渐渐认清，自己与克利福德的精神生活，都不过是虚幻的东西。他们的婚姻，他口中两人基于亲密习惯而构建起的完美生活，随着时间的推移，都变得苍白无力，虚无缥缈。一切都只是空话，只是滔滔不绝的空话。唯一的现实就是空虚，而凌驾其上的则是那些伪善的言语。

There was Clifford's success: the bitch-goddess! It was true he was almost famous, and his books brought him in a thousand pounds. His photograph appeared everywhere. There was a bust of him in one of the galleries, and a portrait of him in two galleries. He seemed the most modern of modern voices. With his uncanny lame instinct for publicity, he had become in four or five years one of the best known of the young "intellectuals". Where the intellect came in, Connie did not quite see. Clifford was really clever at that slightly humorous analysis of people and motives which leaves everything in bits at the end. But it was rather like puppies tearing the sofa cushions to bits; except that it was not young and playful, but curiously old, and rather obstinately conceited. It was weird and it was nothing. This was the feeling that echoed and re-echoed at the bottom of Connie's soul: it was all flag, a wonderful display of nothingness; At the same time a display. A display! a display! A display! Michaelis had seized upon Clifford as the central figure for a play; already he had sketched in the plot, and written the first act. For Michaelis was even better than Clifford at making a display of nothingness. It was the last bit of passion left in these men: the passion for making a display. Sexually they were passionless, even dead. And now it was not money that Michaelis was after. Clifford had never been primarily out for money, though he made it where he could, for money is the seal and stamp of success. And success was what they wanted. They wanted, both of them, to make a real display...a man's own very display of himself that should capture for a time the vast populace.

克利福德终于得到成功——那位堕落女神的垂青！他几乎已经跻身名作家行列，这是无可争议的事实，其稿费收入也达到一千英镑。其照片随处可见。某家画廊摆放着他的半身塑像，另外两家则悬着他的画像。他俨然已是时尚潮流最前沿的代言人。凭借出众的自我推销的本能，仅用四五年的时间，身体残疾的他便脱胎换骨，成为最闻名遐迩的年轻才俊之一。可他的才气究竟在哪里，康妮也搞不太清楚。克利福德真正的长处，在于略带幽默地分析人物及其动机，而此种解析最终往往会让所有的一切处于分崩离析的状态。这跟小狗将沙发垫扯成碎片有异曲同工之妙，但不同之处是，执行者没有半点年轻的活力，也并非在嬉戏玩耍，相反却出人意料地苍老，且极端顽固和自负。这怪诞而又空洞。在康妮的灵魂深处反复回荡着这样的感受：那些都是不切实际的，是对空虚的完美诠释，同时更是一种炫耀。炫耀！炫耀！没完没了的炫耀！米凯利斯将克利福德塑造成新剧的主角，他已经完成情节的构思，并写出第一幕。在炫耀空虚方面，米凯利斯甚至比克利福德更胜一筹。这也是他们体内仅存的最后一丁点热情：炫耀的热情。而性方面，他俩则毫无激情，甚至死气沉沉。如今，金钱已非米凯利斯追求的目标。克利福德则更是从未将挣钱放在首位，但机会摆在眼前时，他也绝不会放过，因为金钱毕竟是成功的代名词。而成功才是他们梦寐以求的。他们渴望，两人都是如此，来一场彻头彻尾的炫耀……完美地将自己展现在世人面前，并立竿见影地吸引他们的所有注意。

It was strange...the prostitution to the bitch-goddess. To Connie, since she was really outside of it, and since she had grown numb to the thrill of it, it was again nothingness. Even the prostitution to the bitch-goddess was nothingness, though the men prostituted themselves innumerable times. Nothingness even that.

这真是令人费解的选择……将自己出卖给堕落女神。由于完全置身事外，丝毫体验不到激动的感觉，因此，在康妮眼中，成功同样难以跳脱虚无的藩篱。虽然这两个男人无数次地向堕落女神献身，但这种出卖灵魂的行为也根本没有任何意义。一切都只是虚无而已。

Michaelis wrote to Clifford about the play. Of course she knew about it long ago. And Clifford was again thrilled. He was going to be displayed again this time, somebody was going to display him, and to advantage. He invited Michaelis down to Wragby with Act I.

米凯利斯写信给克利福德，探讨剧本的创作。对此，康妮当然早已知情。克利福德再度陷入亢奋的状态。这次又捞到机会炫耀自己，且是假他人之手来吹嘘和抬高自己。他邀请米凯利斯带着剧本的第一幕，到拉格比做客。

Michaelis came: in summer, in a pale-coloured suit and white suede gloves, with mauve orchids for Connie, very lovely, and Act I was a great success. Even Connie was thrilled...thrilled to what bit of marrow she had left. And Michaelis, thrilled by his power to thrill, was really wonderful...and quite beautiful, in Connie's eyes. She saw in him that ancient motionlessness of a race that can't be disillusioned any more, an extreme, perhaps, of impurity that is pure. On the far side of his supreme prostitution to the bitch-goddess he seemed pure, pure as an African ivory mask that dreams impurity into purity, in its ivory curves and planes.

夏日时分，米凯利斯如约而至，身着浅色西装，手戴麂皮手套，将淡紫色兰花送给康妮，举止深情款款，而第一幕也写得精彩绝伦。甚至连康妮也激动不已……连骨髓里仅存的角落也为之陶醉。米凯利斯对自己非凡的魅力深感得意，康妮更是认为他无与伦比……玉树临风。在他身上，康妮发现不再幻灭的古老民族根深蒂固的静谧，某种猥亵到极致的纯洁。急不可耐地献身堕落女神固然可耻，但从远处端详，他却又似乎极其纯洁，如同毫无瑕疵的非洲象牙面具，那精雕细琢而成的曲线和平面，让人将所有的污点都想象成纯洁。