第十一章（第12/12页）

"It must have been terrible for you!" said Connie.

“你肯定难受极了！”康妮说。

"Oh, my Lady! I never realized at first. I could only say: Oh my lad, what did you want to leave me for!— That was all my cry. But somehow I felt he'd come back.” "But he didn't want to leave you," said Connie.

“哦，夫人！起初，我始终无法相信这事实。反复念叨着：亲爱的，你怎么能丢下我，撒手而去呢？——我就这么哭喊着。但心里却相信他还会回来。”“可离开你并非他的本意。”康妮说。

"Oh no, my Lady! That was only my silly cry. And I kept expecting him back. Especially at nights. I kept waking up thinking: Why he's not in bed with me!— It was as if my feelings wouldn't believe he'd gone. I just felt he'd have to come back and lie against me, so I could feel him with me. That was all I wanted, to feel him there with me, warm. And it took me a thousand shocks before I knew he wouldn't come back, it took me years.” "The touch of him," said Connie.

“噢，是的，夫人！那只是我的傻话。我自始至终盼着他能回来。尤其是夜里。我整晚无法入眠，只是寻思着：为什么他没躺在我身边？——仿佛我的情感不愿承认他已经故去。我只觉得他肯定会归来，躺在我的身边，这样我就能感受到他的温暖。这就是我唯一的希望，再次感受到他的温暖。时光流逝，经历过无数次打击之后，我才明白他无法再回来。”“触碰到他的感觉。”康妮说。

"That's it, my Lady, the touch of him! I've never got over it to this day, and never shall. And if there's a heaven above, he'll be there, and will lie up against me so I can sleep.” Connie glanced at the handsome, brooding face in fear. Another passionate one out of Tevershall! The touch of him! For the bonds of love are ill to loose!

“是的，夫人，触碰到他的感觉！直到今天，我都无法从创伤中痊愈，恐怕永远做不到这点了。如果天堂真的存在，他会在那里等着我，他就可以再次紧挨着我躺着，让我能够安然入眠。”康妮瞥向那张愁绪笼罩的俊脸，心生畏惧。又是特弗沙尔缔造的一位性情中人！触碰到他的感觉！爱的纠葛总难解！

"It's terrible, once you've got a man into your blood!" she said. "Oh, my Lady! And that's what makes you feel so bitter. You feel folks WANTED him killed. You feel the pit fair WANTED to kill him. Oh, I felt, if it hadn't been for the pit, an'them as runs the pit, there'd have been no leaving me. But they all want to separate a woman and a man, if they're together.” "If they're physically together," said Connie.

“深爱着某个男人，会让你牵肠挂肚！”她说。“噢，夫人！这正是我痛苦不堪的原因。你会觉得人们想让他死掉。你会觉得矿场是罪魁祸首。唉，我总在想，要是煤矿从未存在，人们从未有过开矿的想法，他就不会离我而去。但只要男女真心相爱，他们就会想方设法将之拆散。”“如果他俩依恋彼此的肉体。”康妮说。

"That's right, my Lady! There's a lot of hard-hearted folks in the world. And every morning when he got up and went to th'pit, I felt it was wrong, wrong. But what else could he do? What can a man do?” A queer hate flared in the woman.

“没错，夫人！世间有太多铁石心肠的家伙。每天清晨，当他起床赶往煤矿，我总会有不详的预感。可除了矿工，他还能做什么呢？男人还能做什么呢？”这个女人心中燃起莫名的仇恨。

"But can a touch last so long?" Connie asked suddenly. "That you could feel him so long?" "Oh my Lady, what else is there to last? Children grows away from you. But the man, well! But even that they'd like to kill in you, the very thought of the touch of him. Even your own children! Ah well! We might have drifted apart, who knows. But the feeling's something different. It's 'appen better never to care. But there, when I look at women who's never really been warmed through by a man, well, they seem to me poor doolowls after all, no matter how they may dress up and gad. No, I'll abide by my own. I've not much respect for people.”

“但触感能够存留那么久么？”康妮没来由地问。“过了这么久，你还能感觉到他吗？”“噢，夫人，除此之外，还有什么能够长久存留呢？孩子们长大成人便会离你而去。但是男人，喔！然而，就连对他触摸的记忆，他们都想扼杀。甚至你自己的孩子也是如此无情！啊！如果他还活着，或许我们也会疏远彼此，谁晓得呢。但情感终归与众不同。或许最好不要爱上任何人。不过，每当我看到那些从来没有被男人真正温暖过的女子，在我看来，她们只是没人疼爱的可怜虫，无论她们打扮得多么光鲜，多么会寻欢作乐。没错，我会始终坚守自己的信念。我还真看不太起芸芸众生呢。”