第十七章（第9/13页）

“哦，”福布斯说，“你就瞧着吧，人们不把他搞垮，不把他打倒，绝不会善罢甘休。既然他不愿借机爬进中产阶级，既然他矢志维护自己的性爱，那人们就会将他整倒。他们无法容忍的事情，是对性爱的开诚布公，不加掩饰。你想怎么肮脏下流，尽可随心所欲。事实上，他们乐得看你在性爱方面无耻淫荡。但若是你坚信自己的性爱，不愿龌龊地对待此事，他们便要将你打垮。性爱是硕果仅存的疯狂禁忌，是人类与生俱来的关键本能。他们无法得到，也绝不会容许你拥有，否则就要将你击垮。你等着看吧，他们会对那家伙穷追猛打的。可他到底做了什么呢？要是他只跟自己老婆做爱，那就万事皆休，这原本就是他的权力不是吗？她还会为自己的魅力感到骄傲呢。可你瞧瞧，甚至连那只下贱的母狗都掉过头来攻击他，发挥自己凶暴的本性，来反对性爱，来将他整垮。在品尝性爱之前，你必须先嗅嗅清楚，如果能够感到罪恶，觉得难堪，才能得到许可。噢，人们非要把那个可怜鬼弄死不行。”现在，康妮的情感再度向相反的方向发生突变。他到底做了什么呢？他对她本人，对康妮到底做了什么？只不过让她体验到淋漓尽致的快感，感受到自由和生活的美好。她那温暖自然的性欲洪流，因他完全得以释放。为此，他们恨不得将他生吞活嚼。

No no, it should not be. She saw the image of him, naked white with tanned face and hands, looking down and addressing his erect penis as if it were another being, the odd grin flickering on his face. And she heard his voice again: Tha's got the nicest woman's arse of anybody! And she felt his hand warmly and softly closing over her tail again, over her secret places, like a benediction. And the warmth ran through her womb, and the little flames flickered in her knees, and she said: Oh, no! I mustn't go back on it! I must not go back on him. I must stick to him and to what I had of him, through everything. I had no warm, flamy life till he gave it me. And I won't go back on it.

不行，不行，不能那样做。眼前浮现出他的身影，白皙的裸体，古铜色脸庞和双手，低头对着自己挺立的阴茎倾诉，脸上闪耀着怪异的笑容，好像它也拥有生命。耳边再次响起他的那句赞美：恁拥有世间女子最美的屁股！她感觉到他温热的双手轻柔地覆盖着她的臀丘，遮蔽住她隐秘的所在，仿佛要献上祝福。股股暖流从她的子宫淌过，小小爱火在她的膝间燃烧，她说：噢，不！我绝不能违背承诺！我绝不能背弃他！我要跟他生死与共，永不分离，哪怕海枯石烂。直到遇见他，我才真正拥有了温暖炽热的生活。我要坚守信诺。

She did a rash thing. She sent a letter to Ivy Bolton, enclosing a note to the keeper, and asking Mrs. Bolton to give it him. And she wrote to him: I am very much distressed to hear of all the trouble your wife is making for you, but don't mind it, it is only a sort of hysteria. It will all blow over as suddenly as it came. But I'm awfully sorry about it, and I do hope you are not minding very much. After all, it isn't worth it. She is only a hysterical woman who wants to hurt you. I shall be home in ten days' time, and I do hope everything will be all right. A few days later came a letter from Clifford. He was evidently upset.

她做了件鲁莽的事。她写信给艾维·博尔顿，里面附着给守林人的短笺，拜托博尔顿太太转交。她写给他的信内容如下：听说你妻子给你造成的种种麻烦，我深感苦恼，但千万不要介意，这不过是种歇斯底里的表现。这将来也匆匆，去也匆匆。但我对此深感遗憾，衷心希望你不要太过挂怀。毕竟，这种事不值得如此耿耿于怀。她不过是个疯婆子，一心只想伤害你。我10天后就会回去，希望届时一切都已云开雾散。几天后，她受到克利福德的来信。他显然心有忐忑。

I am delighted to hear you are prepared to leave Venice on the sixteenth. But if you are enjoying it, don't hurry home. We miss you, Wragby misses you. But it is essential that you should get your full amount of sunshine, sunshine and pyjamas, as the advertisements of the Lido say. So please do stay on a little longer, if it is cheering you up and preparing you for our sufficiently awful winter. Even today, it rains.

听说你准备16日从威尼斯动身，我深感高兴。可若你的确享受着旅行的乐趣，倒也不必急着回家。我们想念你，拉格比想念你。但更为重要的还是你能够畅享和煦的阳光，正如利多岛旅游广告所标榜的，阳光与泳衣。因此，如果度假确实令你感到愉快，能赋予你更加健康的身体，来应对这里严酷的寒冬，那不妨再多作逗留。即使是今天，拉格比依然在下雨。

I am assiduously, admirably looked after by Mrs. Bolton. She is a queer specimen. The more I live, the more I realize what strange creatures human beings are. Some of them might Just as well have a hundred legs, like a centipede, or six, like a lobster. The human consistency and dignity one has been led to expect from one's fellow-men seem actually nonexistent. One doubts if they exist to any startling degree even is oneself.

博尔顿太太任劳任怨，无微不至地照顾着我。她是个奇怪的生物。随着岁月的流逝，我越来越感觉人类是如此奇异的生物。有些人或许真能像蜈蚣那样，拥有百只足，或者像龙虾那样，生有六条腿。人类希望彼此身上体现出诚信和尊严，但其实那并不存在。就连我们，也不禁要怀疑，自己的这些品质是否还明显地存在着。

The scandal of the keeper continues and gets bigger like a snowball. Mrs. Bolton keeps me informed. She reminds me of a fish which, though dumb, seems to be breathing silent gossip through its gills, while ever it lives. All goes through the sieve of her gills, and nothing surprises her. It is as if the events of other people's lives were the necessary oxygen of her own.

守林人的丑事愈演愈烈，好像雪球般越滚越大。从博尔顿太太那里，我随时能够得知最新的消息。她让我联想起鱼类，虽然不会说话，但只要活着，就能在呼吸时，通过两腮传播无声的流言。流言蜚语都经过她两腮的过滤，没什么新闻能令她感到讶异。似乎别人的家长里短，就是她生存必须的氧气。

She is preoccupied with tie Mellors scandal, and if I will let her begin, she takes me down to the depths. Her great indignation, which even then is like the indignation of an actress playing a role, is against the wife of Mellors, whom she persists in calling Bertha Courts. I have been to the depths of the muddy lies of the Bertha Couttses of this world, and when, released from the current of gossip, I slowly rise to the surface again, I look at the daylight its wonder that it ever should be.