第十三章（第9/11页）

“当然！你想要人家的命呀！如果你没把马达弄坏，情况就……”但她没有把话言明。她已经上气不接下气。她稍稍松了些劲儿，这确实是件重体力活。

"Ay! slower!" said the man at her side, with a faint smile of his eyes.

“是呀！慢点儿！”身旁的守林人提醒道，眼中含着淡淡的笑意。

"Are you sure you've not hurt yourself?" she said fiercely.

“你确定没有伤到自己吗？”她急切地问道。

He shook his head. She looked at his smallish, short, alive hand, browned by the weather. It was the hand that caressed her. She had never even looked at it before. It seemed so still, like him, with a curious inward stillness that made her want to clutch it, as if she could not reach it. All her soul suddenly swept towards him: he was so silent, and out of reach! And he felt his limbs revive. Shoving with his left hand, he laid his right on her round white wrist, softly enfolding her wrist, with a caress. And the flame of strength went down his back and his loins, reviving him. And she bent suddenly and kissed his hand. Meanwhile the back of Clifford's head was held sleek and motionless, just in front of them.

他摇摇头。她留意着他的手，短小但却活跃，因风吹日晒早已变成褐色。正是这手抚摸过她。她之前从未如此端详过它。它像主人那般安静，有种奇妙的内敛与沉静，让她禁不住想紧握它，仿佛永远也无法触及。她整个的灵魂都扑在他的身上，他如此静默，如此遥不可及！而他则感觉四肢的力量渐渐恢复。他左手推着轮椅，右手则搭上她浑圆白皙的手腕，温柔地握着，抚弄着。力量的火焰顺着后背和胯下游走，他再度变得精力充沛。她蓦地弯下腰，亲吻着他的手背。与此同时，克利福德那光滑的后脑勺依然动也没动，直竖在两人前方。

At the top of the hill they rested, and Connie was glad to let go. She had had fugitive dreams of friendship between these two men: one her husband, the other the father of her child. Now she saw the screaming absurdity of her dreams. The two males were as hostile as fire and water. They mutually exterminated one another. And she realized for the first time what a queer subtle thing hate is. For the first time, she had consciously and definitely hated Clifford, with vivid hate: as if he ought to be obliterated from the face of the earth. And it was strange, how free and full of life it made her feel, to hate him and to admit it fully to herself.— "Now I've hated him, I shall never be able to go on living with him," came the thought into her mind.

他俩在坡顶歇了歇脚，能够松开双手，康妮很是开心。她曾经做着不切实际的美梦，幻象这两个男人能够友好相处，一个是自己的丈夫，另一个则是自己孩子的父亲。但现在，她深切地认识到，这梦想是多么地荒谬。这两个男人简直势同水火。他们恨不得置对方于死地。她初次体会到仇恨是种多么微妙的情感。她也初次认识到自己有多么憎恨克利福德，恨意深到巴不得他从地球表面消失。奇怪的是，这种恨意反倒让她觉得自己那样自由，那样充满活力，痛恨他，并且彻底承认自己的仇恨——“现在我已对他充满恨意，再也无法与他继续生活下去。”她心里这样想着。

On the level the keeper could push the chair alone. Clifford made a little conversation with her, to show his complete composure: about Aunt Eva, who was at Dieppe, and about Sir Malcolm, who had written to ask would Connie drive with him in his small car, to Venice, or would she and Hilda go by train.

来到平地上，守林人可以独自推动轮椅。克利福德有一茬没一茬地跟康妮闲聊，以显示自己早已完全冷静下来。他说到伊娃姑妈，她去了法国迪耶普港，聊起马尔科姆爵士，他写信来问康妮究竟打算如何去威尼斯，搭他的汽车，还是跟希尔达一道乘火车。

"I'd much rather go by train," said Connie. "I don't like long motor drives, especially when there's dust. But I shall see what Hilda wants.” "She will want to drive her own car, and take you with her," he said.

“我更想坐火车。”康妮说。“我讨厌乘汽车长途跋涉，尤其是碰到尘土飞扬的天气。不过，我还是要看看希尔达的想法。”“她准想自己开车去，顺便捎着你。”他说。

"Probably!— I must help up here. You've no idea how heavy this chair is.” She went to the back of the chair, and plodded side by side with the keeper, shoving up the pink path. She did not care who saw.

“很有可能！——我得去帮忙了。你可不晓得这轮椅有多重。”她来到轮椅后面，与守林人并肩而行，迈着沉重的脚步，将轮椅推上粉色的小径。她毫不在意谁会看到。

"Why not let me wait, and fetch Field? He is strong enough for the job," said Clifford.

“干嘛不去把菲尔德叫来？我在这儿等会就行。他身体强壮，干这种活再合适不过。”克利福德提议道。

"It's so near," she panted.

“很快就到了。”她气喘吁吁地说。

But both she and Mellors wiped the sweat from their faces when they came to the top. It was curious, but this bit of work together had brought them much closer than they had been before. "Thanks so much, Mellors," said Clifford, when they were at the house door. "I must get a different sort of motor, that's all. Won't you go to the kitchen and have a meal? It must be about time.” "Thank you, Sir Clifford. I was going to my mother for dinner today, Sunday." "As you like." Mellors slung into his coat, looked at Connie, saluted, and was gone. Connie, furious, went upstairs.

不过，抵达坡顶时，她和梅勒斯都已汗流满面。但很奇怪，此次通力协作将两人的距离拉得更近。“非常感谢你，梅勒斯。”三人来到屋门前时，克利福德说。“我只好再换台发动机了，除此之外，别无他法。去厨房吃点什么吧。差不多是开饭的时间了。”“谢谢，克利福德爵士。我要去母亲那里吃饭，今天是星期日。”“随你的便。”梅勒斯套上外衣，抬头看着康妮，行了个礼，转身离去。康妮气鼓鼓地上了楼。

At lunch she could not contain her feeling.

午餐时，她抑制不住自己的情绪。

"Why are you so abominably inconsiderate, Clifford?" she said to him.

“克利福德，为什么你那么过分，根本不替他人着想？”康妮对他说。

"Of whom?"

“不替谁着想？”

"Of the keeper! If that is what you call ruling classes, I'm sorry for you.” "Why?" "A man who's been ill, and isn't strong! My word, if I were the serving classes, I'd let you wait for service. I'd let you whistle.” "I quite believe it." "If he'd been sitting in a chair with paralysed legs, and behaved as you behaved, what would you have done for him?” "My dear evangelist, this confusing of persons and personalities is in bad taste." "And your nasty, sterile want of common sympathy is in the worst taste imaginable. NOBLESSE OBLIGEN! You and your ruling class!" "And to what should it oblige me? To have a lot of unnecessary emotions about my game-keeper? I refuse. I leave it all to my evangelist.” "As if he weren't a man as much as you are, my word!”