第十六章（第12/14页）

在这个短暂的夏夜，她受益良多。她本以为女人会因羞耻而亡。然而现在，走向灭亡的却是羞耻本身。羞耻的本质其实就是恐惧，在肉体的深处，暗藏着对官能的深切羞耻，对肉欲的古老恐惧，只有欲火能够将它们驱走。最终，引导这欲火的是男人阳物的进击，将她带到心灵丛林的中心之处。她感觉，此刻已经置身天然情欲喷发的当口，羞耻在这里荡然无存。如今的自我只知享受性欲的快感，赤裸着，但却毫无羞耻之心。她体验到胜利的感觉，甚至禁不住自负起来。原来如此！这才是一切的真相！这才是生命的真谛！这才是人类本来的面目！世间本没有可掩饰或者羞耻的东西。她正与一个男人，与另一种生命，共享这无羞无耻的终极赤裸。

And what a reckless devil the man was! Really like a devil! One had to be strong to bear him. But it took some getting at, the core of the physical jungle, the last and deepest recess of organic shame. The phallos alone could explore it. And how he had pressed in on her!

而这个男人就像个厚颜无耻的恶魔！彻彻底底的恶魔！只有身心强健的女子，才能禁得住这种蹂躏。要抵达肉体丛林的最深处，寻得官能羞耻最后的藏身之地，需要无所畏惧，披荆斩棘。而只有男人的阳物才能完成这探索的重任。因此，他才会跟她这样如胶似漆！

And how, in fear, she had hated it. But how she had really wanted it! She knew now. At the bottom of her soul, fundamentally, she had needed this phallic hunting Out, she had secretly wanted it, and she had believed that she would never get it. Now suddenly there it was, and a man was sharing her last and final nakedness, she was shameless.

惊恐时分，她曾经对它充满憎恨。可其实，她对它充满渴求！如今，她深切地了解到这些。在她的灵魂深处，她曾对它的探寻充满向往，暗暗地想得到它，并且以为自己永远无法如愿。如今，它从天而降，她毫无羞耻之心，与情郎畅享着自己身心彻底的赤裸。

What liars poets and everybody were! They made one think one wanted sentiment. When what one supremely wanted was this piercing, consuming, rather awful sensuality. To find a man who dared do it, without shame or sin or final misgiving! If he had been ashamed afterwards, and made one feel ashamed, how awful! What a pity most men are so doggy, a bit shameful, like Clifford! Like Michaelis even! Both sensually a bit doggy and humiliating. The supreme pleasure of the mind! And what is that to a woman? What is it, really, to the man either! He becomes merely messy and doggy, even in his mind. It needs sheer sensuality even to purify and quicken the mind. Sheer fiery sensuality, not messiness.

诗人和世人都在散布谎言！他们让女人相信，自己需要的是情感。但女人真正迫切需要的是这种酣畅淋漓，荡魂摄魄，让人又爱又怕的性欲。找个敢于与你共享性爱的男人吧，他得能将羞耻和罪恶抛开，忘却最后的疑虑！如果完事后，男人觉得羞耻，让女人也感到羞耻，那实在是糟糕透顶！真可惜，大多数男人都唯唯诺诺，受羞耻心的驱遣，克利福德就是如此！甚至连米凯利斯都是这样！他俩在性欲方面都难如人意，甚至以此为羞。他们追求的是精神的无上快乐！可那对女人来讲有个屁用！事实上，即使对男人而言，也根本是水月镜花！这种畸形的追求只会让男人变得一塌糊涂，毫无丈夫气概，甚至连精神领域也是如此。要使精神世界得到净化和振奋，靠的是赤裸裸的欲望。火一般炙热的性欲，而不是剪不断理还乱的空想。

Ah, God, how rare a thing a man is! They are all dogs that trot and sniff and copulate. To have found a man who was not afraid and not ashamed! She looked at him now, sleeping so like a wild animal asleep, gone, gone in the remoteness of it. She nestled down, not to be away from him.

啊，神啊，真正的男子汉世间罕有！多数男人都跟犬类无异，东摇西逛，四处乱嗅，交尾媾和。去找个无畏无羞的男人吧！此时此刻，她凝望着熟睡的他，如同酣然入眠的野兽，深深地迷失在遥远的梦乡里。她依偎在情郎的身旁，再也不愿远走他乡。

Till his rousing waked her completely. He was sitting up in bed, looking down at her. She saw her own nakedness in his eyes, immediate knowledge of her. And the fluid, male knowledge of herself seemed to flow to her from his eyes and wrap her voluptuously. Oh, how voluptuous and lovely it was to have limbs and body half-asleep, heavy and suffused with passion.

他起床时，也将她彻底惊醒。他坐在床上，低头看着她。她从他的眼睛里，看到赤裸裸的自己，了解到他对自己直观的认识。男性对她的认识仿佛某种液体，从他的眼里流泻到她身上，将她包裹缠绕起来，充满肉欲的色彩。噢，这慵懒的四肢，横陈的娇躯，半梦半醒，洋溢着无限的激情，如此的性感，如此的可爱。

"Is it time to wake up?" she said.

“该起床了吧？”她问。

"Half past six." She had to be at the lane-end at eight. Always, always, always this compulsion on one!

“六点半了。”她八点必须赶到小路尽头。外界的压力总是步步紧逼，没完没了，无休无止！

"I might make the breakfast and bring it up here; should I?" he said.

“我可以去做早餐，然后拿到这儿吃，怎么样？”他说。

"Oh yes!" Flossie whimpered gently below. He got up and threw off his pyjamas, and rubbed himself with a towel. When the human being is full of courage and full of life, how beautiful it is! So she thought, as she watched him in silence.

“噢，好呀！”弗洛西在楼下呜咽着。他起身脱掉睡衣，用毛巾擦拭着身体。充满勇气和生机的男人，是多么地美丽！她含情脉脉地望着他，心里这样想。

"Draw the curtain, will you?" The sun was shining already on the tender green leaves of morning, and the wood stood bluey-fresh, in the nearness. She sat up in bed, looking dreamily out through the dormer window, her naked arms pushing her naked breasts together. He was dressing himself. She was half-dreaming of life, a life together with him: just a life.

“拉开窗帘，好吗？”太阳早已在清晨嫩绿的叶片上闪耀，近处的树林呈现出鲜亮的蓝色。她坐在床上，透过天窗向外张望，感觉如同做梦一般，赤裸的臂膀将裸露的乳房挤到一起。他正在穿衣服。而她却半梦半醒地憧憬着未来的生活，与他共度的美好生活，真真正正的生活。

He was going, fleeing from her dangerous, crouching nakedness.

他向外走去，逃离她那蜷缩着的诱人裸体。

"Have I lost my nightie altogether?" She said.