第十四章（第6/11页）

"Yes! When I can forget the rest. When I can't forget the rest, I want to get under the table and die.” "Why under the table?" "Why?" He laughed. "Hide, I suppose. Baby!" "You do seem to have had awful experiences of women," she said.

“当然！要是能抛开杂念，我确实很开心。可如果做不到，我只想钻到桌子底下死掉。”“为什么要钻到桌子底下？”“为什么？”他笑道。“躲起来吧。宝贝！”“你与女人相处的经历，的确糟糕透顶。”她评价道。

"You see, I couldn't fool myself. That's where most men manage. They take an attitude, and accept a lie. I could never fool myself. I knew what I wanted with a woman, and I could never say I'd got it when I hadn't.” "But have you got it now?" "Looks as if I might have." "Then why are you so pale and gloomy?" "Bellyful of remembering: and perhaps afraid of myself.” She sat in silence. It was growing late.

“我无法做到自欺欺人。而多数男人却能做得到。他们装模作样，面对谎言，慨然接受。我却无法愚弄自己。我清楚自己想从女人那里得到什么，如果未能如愿，我绝不会信口雌黄。”“可你现在如愿以偿了吗？”“似乎是这样。”“那么，你为何还整天苍白无力，愁眉不展？”“满腹回忆难以疏解，或许还有些畏惧自己。”她默默地坐着。夜已深沉。

"And do you think it's important, a man and a woman?” She asked him.

“你真的那么看重男女之事吗？”她问。

"For me it is. For me it's the core of my life: if I have a right relation with a woman.” "And if you didn't get it?” "Then I'd have to do without.” Again she pondered, before she asked: "And do you think you've always been right with women?” "God, no! I let my wife get to what she was: my fault a good deal. I spoilt her. And I'm very mistrustful. You'll have to expect it. It takes a lot to make me trust anybody, inwardly. So perhaps I'm a fraud too. I mistrust. And tenderness is not to be mistaken.” She looked at him.

“对我来说，确实如此。对我来说，是否能跟女人保持正常的性关系，是生活的重心所在。”“可如果得不到呢？”“那我宁愿独身一人。”她沉思片刻，然后再度发问。“你认为自己总能善待女人吗？”“天呢，不！我妻子之所以落得今天这步田地，我要负主要责任。是我宠坏了她。我太过多疑。你以后就会晓得。要我真正相信任何人，确实很困难。或许我本身就是个骗子。所以才会缺乏信任。感情却不容误解。”她望着他。

"You don't mistrust with your body, when your blood comes up," she said. "You don't mistrust then, do you?” "No, alas! That's how I've got into all the trouble. And that's why my mind mistrusts so thoroughly.” "Let your mind mistrust. What does it matter!"

“但血脉贲张的时候，你总该信任自己的肉体。”她说。“你不会怀疑，对吗？”“对。哎呀！正因为此，我才会招来那么多麻烦。心中才会充满疑虑。”“多疑就多疑吧。没什么大不了的！”

The dog sighed with discomfort on the mat. The ash-clogged fire sank.

弗洛西伏在毯子上，苦恼地叹着气。照片燃剩的灰烬将炉火弄弱。

"We are a couple of battered warriors," said Connie. He laughed. "Are you battered too?"

“我们是对遍体鳞伤的勇士。”康妮调侃着。他笑着问。“你也遍体鳞伤？”

"And here we are returning to the fray!" "Yes! I feel really frightened." "Ay!" He got up, and put her shoes to dry, and wiped his own and set them near the fire. In the morning he would grease them. He poked the ash of pasteboard as much as possible out of the fire. "Even burnt, it's filthy," he said. Then he brought sticks and put them on the hob for the morning. Then he went out awhile with the dog.

“而在这里，我们又将重整旗鼓！”“没错！我还真有些害怕。”“唉！”他站起身，把她的鞋拿去烤干，擦拭完自己的靴子，也搁在炉火旁边。清晨时分，他会给靴子上油。他把照片的灰烬拨弄到旁边，尽可能地远离火焰。“即便烧成灰，都脏得要死。”他说。接着，他拿来些柴火，放在炉架上，以备明早使用。然后，他带着猎犬，外出巡视。

When he came back, Connie said: "I want to go out too, for a minute." She went alone into the darkness. There were stars overhead. She could smell flowers on the night air. And she could feel her wet shoes getting wetter again. But she felt like going away, right away from him and everybody.

他回来时，康妮说：“我也想出去，稍微透透气。”她独自步入漆黑的暗夜。头顶是满天繁星。夜晚的寒气里，她嗅得到阵阵花香。她感觉到鞋子再次被打湿。但她此刻却想要逃离，远离他，远离所有人。

It was chilly. She shuddered, and returned to the house. He was sitting in front of the low fire.

天寒地冻。她全身战栗，退回到屋里。他正坐在微弱的炉火旁。

"Ugh! Cold!" She shuddered.

“啊！太冷了！”她哆嗦着说。

He put the sticks on the fire, and fetched more, till they had a good crackling chimneyful of blaze. The rippling running yellow flame made them both happy, warmed their faces and their souls.

他添些柴火，然后又去取了些，直到熊熊烈焰充满烟道，快活的噼啪声传入耳膜。黄色的火焰起伏奔腾着，让两人的情绪都愉悦起来，脸庞和灵魂都得到温暖。

"Never mind!" She said, taking his hand as he sat silent and remote. "One does one's best.” "Ay!" He sighed, with a twist of a smile.

“没关系！”看到他一言不发地远远坐着，她上前握住他的手，安慰道。“尽力就好。”“唉！”他苦笑着，叹了口气。

She slipped over to him, and into his arms, as he sat there before the fire.

他坐在炉火前，她走到他身旁，偎入他的怀中。

"Forget then!" She whispered. "Forget! He held her close, in the running warmth of the fire. The flame itself was like a forgetting. And her soft, warm, ripe weight! Slowly his blood turned, and began to ebb back into strength and reckless vigour again.

“别再想了！”她低语道。“忘掉吧！”他紧紧搂着她，炉火喷出的热气扑面而来。火焰本身似乎拥有让人遗忘的魔力。而她那成熟的肉体更是那样柔软温暖，让他感到实实在在的重量！他的血液慢慢开始转变，变得充满力量与无尽的生气。

"And perhaps the women really wanted to be there and love you properly, only perhaps they couldn't. Perhaps it wasn't all their fault," she said.