第十四章（第7/11页）

“或许那些女人都是真心实意想和你相处，想好好爱你，只是她们做不到而已。或许这并不都是她们的错。”她说。

"I know it. Do you think I don't know what a broken-backed snake that's been trodden on I was myself!” She clung to him suddenly. She had not wanted to start all this again. Yet some perversity had made her.

“我知道。难道你认为我已经遗忘，忘记自己像条被任意践踏的蛇，连脊背都已折断！”她突然紧紧拥着他。她本不愿再挑起这个话题。但却抑制不住自己的情绪，任性胡为起来。

"But you're not now," she said. "You're not that now: a broken-backed snake that's been trodden on.” "I don't know what I am. There's black days ahead.” "No!" she protested, clinging to him. "Why? Why?" "There's black days coming for us all and for everybody," he repeated with a prophetic gloom.

“可你现在不再是了。”她说。“不再是一条折断脊背的蛇，不再允许任意践踏。”“我不知道我现在是什么。前途一片黑暗。”“不！”她抗议道，死命搂住他。“为什么？为什么？”“黑暗的时代即将降临，你我，乃至所有人都无法幸免。”他重复着，说话时的忧伤口吻，活像位预言家。

"No! You're not to say it!” He was silent. But she could feel the black void of despair inside him. That was the death of all desire, the death of all love: this despair that was like the dark cave inside the men, in which their spirit was lost.

“不！别说这种话！”他不再做声。但她仍感觉得到其心底绝望的深渊。那是所有欲望的坟墓，所有情感的坟墓，那种绝望就像存在于人类内心的黑洞，灵魂在其间迷失方向。

"And you talk so coldly about sex," she said. "You talk as if you had only wanted your own pleasure and satisfaction." She was protesting nervously against him.

“你如此冷漠地谈论性爱。”她说,“仿佛你只顾自己痛快，自己满足。”她不留情面地反驳着。

"Nay!" He said.

“不！”他说,

"I wanted to have my pleasure and satisfaction of a woman, and I never got it: because I could never get my pleasure and satisfaction of HER unless she got hers of me at the same time. And it never happened. It takes two.” "But you never believed in your women. You don't even believe really in me," she said.

“我想从女人身上得到愉悦和满足，但却从来没有体验过，因为只有两人同时获得快感，我的欲望才能真正实现。可这种事以前从未发生过。这需要男女双方共同努力。”“但你从不信任自己的女人。甚至连我也不完全相信。”她说。

"I don't know what believing in a woman means.” "That's it, you see!”

“我不晓得信任女人该怎么做。”“你瞧，问题就出在这儿！”

She still was curled on his lap. But his spirit was grey and absent, he was not there for her. And everything she said drove him further.

她依然蜷缩在他的腿上。但他早已情绪低落，心不在焉，似乎并未跟她共处一室。她所说的一切，只会将他逼得更远。

"But what DO you believe in?" She insisted.

“那你究竟相信什么？”她打破沙锅问到底。

"I don't know.” "Nothing, like all the men I've ever known," she said.

“我不知道。”“你不相信任何事，跟我认识的所有男人一个德行。”她说。

They were both silent. Then he roused himself and said: "Yes, I do believe in something. I believe in being warmhearted. I believe especially in being warm-hearted in love, in fucking with a warm heart. I believe if men could fuck with warm hearts, and the women take it warm-heartedly, everything would come all right. It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy.” "But you don't fuck me cold-heartedly," she protested.

两人都陷入沉默。后来，他振作精神说：“是的，我确实相信某些东西。我相信要有颗真诚的心。我相信应该真诚地去爱，真诚地做爱。我相信如果男人能够真诚地去做爱，女人也能真诚地予以回应，那么彼此之间的矛盾就会烟消云散。相反，导致毁灭和愚钝的，恰恰就是那种冷漠的做爱方式。”“可你不准冷漠地跟我做爱。”她抗议道。

"I don't want to fuck you at all. My heart's as cold as cold potatoes just now.” "Oh!" She said, kissing him mockingly. "Let's have them sautées." He laughed, and sat erect.

“我现在根本不想跟你做爱。此刻，我的心冷得跟放凉的土豆一样。”“噢！”她说道，笑着亲吻着他。“那么就把它们煎一下吧。”他露出笑容，坐直身子。

"It's a fact!" He said.

“事实就是如此。”他说。

"Anything for a bit of warm-heartedness. But the women don't like it. Even you don't really like it. You like good, sharp, piercing cold-hearted fucking, and then pretending it's all sugar. Where's your tenderness for me? You're as suspicious of me as a cat is of a dog. I tell you it takes two even to be tender and warm-hearted. You love fucking all right: but you want it to be called something grand and mysterious, just to flatter your own self-importance. Your own self-importance is more to you, fifty times more, than any man, or being together with a man.” "But that's what I'd say of you. Your own self-importance is everything to you.” "Ay! Very well then!" He said, moving as if he wanted to rise. "Let's keep apart then. I'd rather die than do any more cold-hearted fucking.” She slid away from him, and he stood up.

“做任何事都要抱着真诚的心。但女人们却不愿意如此。甚至你也不喜欢这样。你喜欢冷漠的做爱，只要酣畅淋漓，如同暴风骤雨般猛烈即可，事后还会装出柔情蜜意。你对我的柔情到底在哪儿？你对我根本没有信任可言，就好像猫遇到狗一样，处处防范。我要告诉你，彼此虽怀有深情，但仍需双方的温柔和热心。你喜欢做爱没错，但你却给它冠以伟大神秘的头衔，为的只是满足你自己的虚荣心。对于你而言，虚荣心比任何男人，比做爱本身，都要重要何止50倍。”“可这正是我对你的评价。虚荣心对你而言才是一切。”“是呀！那好吧！”他说着，作势像要站起身。“那咱俩就分开好了。我宁愿去死，也不想再冷漠地做爱。”她摆脱他的怀抱，他站起身来。

"And do you think I want it?" She said.

“你认为我想那样吗？”她问。

"I hope you don't," he replied. "But anyhow, you go to bed an' I'll sleep down here.” She looked at him. He was pale, his brows were sullen, he was as distant in recoil as the cold pole. Men were all alike.